The Life of Invader Razz
by Rarmeowz
Summary: Story Of Invader Razz's Life. Warning: There may be cuss words.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue: NPOV**

As you know, there are many, many irken invaders. This story is about one in particular: Invader Razz. It is about Razz's adventures, from Smeethood to becoming an Invader, and her greatest mission ever- all I'll say about it is that it takes place on Earth (AN: How original…). So… let's get on with the story. It all began in the Northern-Irk (N-I) Smeetery.

**Chapter 1: NPOV:**

Right now, Razz is a Smeet in the N-I Smeetery, which is a Nursery, except it is for Smeets. Today, through a pipe in the wall, which no new smeet has fallen through since Razz did a month ago, did a new smeet emerge. It was Zim. Zim avoided Razz as much as possible, until Razz approached him unawares.

**Chapter 2: RPOV:**

"Hi! I'm Razz! What's your name?" I asked.

"I AM ZIM!" the small, red-eyed smeet replied. Amazingly, though I was a month older, and we were the same height! The next day, we were shipped off to be trained as Invaders. In their class were a few other Irkens including: Tak. Skoodge, Red (later known as Almighty Tallest Red), Nacho (A golden eyed female smeet), Sprinkle (A green eyed Male Irken, will be a food service drone), and Purple (later known as Almighty Tallest Purple). Soon, they were told to get in groups of two. Red and Purple, the tallest smeets in class paired up, so did Nacho and Sprinkle, Tak and Skoodge, and finally, Zim and me, the smallest irkens in class. Ugh. It was my first day of class all over again. Me, being an 'old' student had to teach the 'new' student the basics of class, and catch him up to the rest of us- oh, what a chore! But, it paid off in the end. _Brrriiiinnng!_ We were sent off to lunch- the entire Smeetery, not just our room- in the order of height. I was slightly taller than Zim, but, I put him in front of me- he was younger- he needed more nourishment than I did. The lunch-lady was mad- until she learned this was the youngest smeet in front of me- and we're almost the same height- and besides, he needs more nourishment! From that day forward Zim and I were best of friends. I think

Years passed. I was sent to Technician training. I passed with flying Colors, like I did Invader Training. Then, I was a Tallest-in-training, basically, I was taught how to be a Tallest; it backfired a bit, when I was shot in the Pak with a laser, destroying my growth mechanism, trapping me at what is commonly known as Zim-height. Neither Zim nor I grew even the slightest bit taller. Well, at least I was at a relatively normal height, or so I thought. But I, unfortunately, was not. I was a technician/invader from that day forward. The next important event in my damn life came; it was Operation Impending Doom I.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part II Operation ****Impending Doom**** 1:**

**Chapter 3 Operation Impending Doom 1 Part 1; Damn Robots RPOV:**

In Operation Impending Doom 1 (OID 1) Zim was chosen to command a battle mech. I was chosen to work under him, for I was trained to be a Technician, and control the legs of the robot. After a while, I saw we were on Irk. 'Zim; I thought, fear gripping me, we're destroying Irk; our home! Oh, the Tallest's will be SO IRKED with us!' I tried to tell Zim, but he told me "You; Pull some levers!" Oh, my poor, poor, insane friend. Suddenly, a laser hit my control station, and I fell, crushed beneath rubble. I could tell my left leg and right arm were broken, and I had great pain in the upper half of my body. Thankfully, my SPAK was fine. I called for help, using a device that sent SOS signals to the other ships. I was SO mad at Zim; Zim, the one word that kept going through my mind. I just couldn't stay mad at him. Little did I know then, I was growing a crush on him. Soon, I saw a Med. Ship fly down, and I was put on a stretcher. Then my world went black.

**Chapter 4 Operation Impending Doom 1 Part 2; Boring hospital rooms RPOV:**

I woke up with my arm and leg in casts. Zim; Oh that little bastard! How could he do this to me! How the hell could he 'accidently' destroy half of Irk, and make me break an arm and a leg! Oh I hate him so damn much! "Razz," I heard a nurse say, as she scurried from bed to bed, taking care of patients, "You have a visitor." I looked at the door. There stood Zim. Zim walked up to my hospital bed, and before he could say a word, I reached out and grabbed his neck; I had started to strangle him. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT ZIM! IF YOU HADN'T ATTACKED AND DESTROYED HALF OF IRK; I WOULDN"T BE HERE YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" I was shaking him violently. "Need… air…" he moaned. I dropped him. I was exhausted from the strangling, shaking and yelling. Then I just closed my eyes, and let sleep take over.

**Chapter 5 Operation Impending Doom 1 Part 3; what to do… RPOV:**

"For the last ten years, you, Razz, have trained to be a Med. Drone. Hereby I give thee this certificate of graduating Med. School." said a very old black-eyed irken, named Qwert, who handed a scroll of paper to me.

"Thank you, Qwert;" I said, a tear flowing from my left eye, "These have been the best ten years of my life." Suddenly, I burst into tears and ran out of the room. I was healed. While healing, I was trained to be a Med. Drone.

I ran straight to a red and purple Voot Cruiser Plus, which is just like a normal Voot Cruiser, except twice as fast and twice as large; which I was given after mine was destroyed. "Good-bye… Qwert, Skape, Lace… I'll miss you…" I said with a whimper, as I thought of Lace, who died yesterday, old, blind, white-eyed female, the twin of Qwert, one of only friends here. She would be so proud. A few more tears leaked out of my eyes as I flew off towards the Massive.

_**(Authors Note: If you any questions about any characters, please read and review, and I'll answer your questions. Eventually, we will come acrross a character a friend of mine made, I'll refer to this friend as Tigercat51, which is her Deviantart username. Tigercat51 and Fernstar and my best friends. If you have any questions, leave them in a review. I want to thank Invader Kit and Tigercat51 on Deviantart for leaving reviews to me. [I pposted a couple of reviews myself] and I hope I get more good reviews! ~aNoNyMuS)**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Part III Operation Impending Doom II**

**Chapter 6 BEFORE Operation Impending Doom II:**

The next important event in my life took place about a year and ½ before Operation Impending Doom II. The Tallests put me on vacation until I deemed myself ready for another mission as an invader. Why, you ask? Whenever they tried to send me off on a mission, I would suddenly go 'insane'.

"No, No!" I whimpered, as they tried to drag me to a ship for a mission, "I'm not doing ANYTHING until I know that maniac Zim can't come and get me injured again; never!" Ever since, I've been on vacation. I was lying on my couch, eating ice cream when I got a call from the Tallests. They told me that they were starting Operation: Impending Doom II. I told them, "Please let me wait at LEAST 6 months, my Tallests, I can wait, besides, I don't want to be anywhere near ZIM for another 6 months, I don't want to get injured again!"

"But Zim isn't invited!" Purple exclaimed.

"So? He might show up anyways! Besides, I have a creepy feeling he WILL show up there anyways! Besides, my creepy feelings are NEVER wrong!" I yelled back, and then cut the transmission. Surprisingly to the TALLESTS, I was right.

**Chapter 7 Operation Impending Doom II Razz's Mission :**

Over the course of 6 months, we learned A LOT about Earth from Zim. Zim was only there as a banishment, though he didn't know that. The Tallests sent me there as an ACTUAL Invader. They gave me an A.I.R. Unit (Advanced Information Retrieval Unit), whom I programmed to a surprisingly similar personality to GIR's, except my A.I.R. Unit actually LISTENS to commands, but only when I called her by name. Her name is Dazzle. She looks a half sized red S.I.R. Unit with purple eyes. She has a purple antenna balls (one on head, one on her 'tail'), and battery pack. She has a second antenna to look like a tail. I got in my Voot Cruiser + (VC+) and zoomed off to my new location; Earth.

**Chapter 8 Operation Impending Doom II Arrival on Earth:**

A Voot Cruiser + is twice as large and twice as fast as a regular voot cruiser, so, I reached Earth in 3 months. Well… I SHOULD have. Red and Purple had me run errands for them, Skoodge kept calling me, Tak attacked me twice (I swear she is trying to assassinate me), and then I got caught in an asteroid belt! Stupid Asteroids… anywho, after 6 months when I finally got to Earth, I disguised myself as a female brunette human. My disguise gave me pale peach skin, a wig of brunette hair that was wavy and ended at my shoulders. It gave me a nose and a pair of ears, all made of clay, contacts of normal blue eyes. I wore a black trench coat with a sky blue short sleeve shirt with navy blue stripes under the trench coat, and a knee-length black skirt. I also wore black mid shin length boots and pale blue sock that go ¾ up the shin. My SPAK was disguised as a normal, lavender backpack. Dazzle was disguised as a brown rabbit with a pink nose and pink inside the ears. Her eyes were a magenta color. I shrank my VC+ to the size of a marble, a black, purple, red and sky blue marble; I placed it in my pocket. I put a lot of my supplies in a suitcase and walked off to a building labeled 'Orfanage' which I knew meant Orphanage because they don't spell things correctly here. I was passing myself off as an orphan. Who knew how well this would work. Oh I hope this works!


	4. Chapter 4

**Part IV Deception:**

**Chapter 9; Earthlings are stupid:**

'Dear RAZZ,

We are pleased to announce that you have been taken into our program, and now have someone who wants to adopt you. Your meeting with this person is JANUARY 2, 2010 3:00 p.m.

Sincerely,

Orfanage Adoption Agency'

I loved that note. Every time I read it, I knew I was one step closer to tricking and blending in with the Earthlings, so I can finish my mission. A man named Professor Membrane came. I will not recount the meeting, for it was oh so very boring and I don't want to put you to sleep. Anyways, I was adopted into a family consisting of: Professor Membrane, Dib, and Gaz. I thought I was lucky to be integrated into a NORMAL human family. But, I was horribly wrong.

**Chapter 10; Skool:**

Today is my first day at the horrible place called Skool, all I know is that this is the first day of Skool after Christmas, and after an EVIL SANTA ATTACK! Anyways; this is what happened:

"Class, welcome the newest doomed appendage of the student body;" The teacher said. I think her name is Ms. Bitters, "If you have anything to say, say it now, for after today I never want to hear another peep out of you."

"Hi, I'm Razz;" I started, "I recently moved here with my parents who were murdered by a Bastardly Son of a Bitch who is damned to Hell, named Bob Mongoose; He's dead now. I became a damn orphan and lived in the orphanage here in town for the last two shitty weeks. Yesterday, I was adopted by Professor Membrane and unfortunately, I am the adopted sister of that crazy, big-headed kid. Anyways, alien life MAY or MAY NOT exist, but there's a snowball's chance hell any would reach this planet. Also, I cuss a lot, and when I'm depressed, I think of the world's impending doom; only cute animals like my pet bunny rabbit Dazzle can cheer me up. In conclusion, I LOVE BUNNIES!"

I suddenly heard someone scream behind a green-skinned kid and I sat behind said green-skinned kid. I was worried this kid might have a horrible disease, and I might catch it. Then I noticed something- this kid had a PAK on his back! I wrote a note in irken, but translated, it would read [Hi! I'm Razz, what's your name?] The kid replied, [I AM ZIM!] My heart stopped. Could this be the Zim who destroyed half of Irk, and caused me break an arm and a leg? If it was, the little green son of a bitch would die a long painful merciless death. But, the more I thought of the beautiful revenge, the less I wanted to do it; Zim. Was it possible… could I be developing a crush on the little green invader?

**Chapter 11; Deception:**

I followed Zim home from school today, into his pathetic base. I saw his robot, GIR, out of disguise, and new at once he was Zim the Irken. How, you may ask? Simple; what human would have Irken technology? Especially a green one! Anyways, I followed the little green 'human' down the toilet and saw an irken base, like the one I made, with an entrance under my bed, except mine had some more 'advanced' technology than his. I saw Zim take of his disguise. I can't believe that earlier I was tricked by his deception! How can this SMALL, INCOMPETENT 'INVADER' able to trick me with this stupid act of deception?


	5. Chapter 5

**Part V Secrets:**

**Chapter 12; Zim's Secret:**

"What is a human pig-smelly doing in my base?" I heard Zim yell angrily at me.

"It's a secret;" I replied to the fuming Invader, "You'll find out eventually." I suddenly giggled and ran out of there as fast as a cheetah. I then accidentally bumped into someone I really didn't want to see. That someone was DIB!

"H-hi Dib…" I said nervously said trailing off.

"Razz, what the Hell were you doing at ZIM'S HOUSE!" Dib yelled at me.

"I was following that damn bastard because he looked quite suspicious. NOW I know that damn son of a bitch is an Irken Invader, just like me and now I have to witness the Hell caused by him all over again!" I quickly ranted, "Did I just say that last part aloud?"

"Razz, what do you mean, 'Irken Invader, just like me?'" Dib asked me, glaring and scowling at me like I was a piece of space-garbage.

"Dib, I was ranting, had no clue what the Hell I was saying and most of that probably wasn't even true!" I said to Dib quickly, not wanting him to find out about me being an Invader; "I can't believe you think I could possibly be a space monster!" I yelled, holographic tears flowing from my eyes, as I ran off, 'crying' back to our 'home'.

**Chapter 13****; Two of Razz's Secrets:**

After dinner, I saw snuck into Zim's house and saw him on an irken 'dating site' there were pictures of very skimpily dressed- or not dressed at all, Irken females! Boy, he needed a mate; Like me. I then ran off, deciding to come back later to… tell him. Late that night, at midnight, I snuck out of the Membrane house-hold to Zim's house. I knocked on Zim's door, and Zim opened the door.

"What are you doing here you filthy stink beast?" Zim angrily asked, with a slight yell in his voice.

"Why Zim, I'm here to tell you something very, very important." I said to Zim, while mischievously walking around Zim with a sneaky smirk on my face.

"What is so important that you have to interrupt the ALMIGHTY ZIM'S NORMAL human boy sleep?" Zim said in his annoying, yet cute little voice. I pushed Zim into his house and slammed the door. I then took him down into his base so no one could see us.

"You see Zim, I know you're Irken," I started, staring deeply into his 'human' eyes, "and, I'm irken, too." I then slid down a bracelet, and pushed a blue jewel. My disguise fell. I stood there in my glory. My pastel green skin glowed, by sky blue eyes shined like jewels, and my invader uniform was a nice, dark blue. "Hi Zim, remember me?"

"Razzle; is that you?" Zim asked, seeing I looked like his childhood friend, Razzle, which is my name in full.

"Yes, Zim, it is I, your friend Razzle." I replied, sheepishly looking down at my feet, "I saw your PAK while at school, and thought it was you. I followed you, because I had something I wanted to tell you, but, I chickened out."

"Tell me! Tell Zim what you had followed me to my base to tell!" Zim shrieked.

"I… I wanted to tell you, I have what a human calls a 'crush' on you. I want you to be my mate." I said staring into Zim's eyes.

"You… you want the almighty Zim as your mate?" Zim asked shyly, apparently no one was kind to him after me, much less wanting to be his mate. I nodded to him, "I think you are worthy enough to Zim's mate. I choose you as my mate!" I looked at Zim, smiled, and then kissed him on the cheek. I then giggled. I turned on my disguise, and ran home, only to find when I opened the door, Dib waiting for me.

**Chapter 14; A human who knows too much:**

"You're Irken!" Dib accused of me 'He must have camera's hidden in Zim's base' I thought.

"So what if I am!" I retorted angrily, slapping him in the face. I tried to walk away, but he grabbed me by the shoulder.

"What's this I hear about you wanting to be Zim's 'mate.'" Dib said to me, "Why would he be your 'mate' and not your 'boyfriend'?"

"Fine, you know I'm an Irken, so I can tell you," I said, while pulling a chain with a metal collar on the end out of my SPAK; which Dib didn't notice, "Irkens only 'love' regular friends in a brotherly-sisterly manner, and love mates as them selves. We do not 'date' or get second chances once we choose a mate; we are stuck with them forever, when they die, we kill ourselves, so we can be with them into infinity. We also 'love' pets; sometimes they are aliens from another planet." As I said the last sentence I clamped the collar around Dib's neck I was the only one who could unlock it. I now had Dib as a pet. I walked to my base and chained Dib to a wall in what only LOOKED like a 5-star hotel room. It had an invisible force-field over the door that only Irkens can pass through, unless it is given strict orders by its master to let other things through. "F-F," I started, "I command thee to let the Dib human pass through thee until the Dib human is chained unto your wall, then only allow me through again." After Dib and I passed through and I chained him to the wall, I slipped out of the cell. Dib tried to follow, but got electrocuted.

"Ouch!" he exclaimed, hopping away from F-F "That hurts!" He was whining and moaning to himself about how much it hurt. As he whined and complained, I slipped away, to call my tallest.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part VI; Betrayal:**

**Chapter 15; Razz's First Betrayal (Sort of):**

"My Tallest, I have amazing and important news!" I said to the Tallests.

"And what is that Razzy~" Almighty Tallest Red said.

"Big Brother; I thought I told you not to call me that!" I retorted, "But, the news is I have chosen a mate!"

"You have? Really! Who is the lucky irken?" Tallest Purple asked.

"The lucky irken is Zim." I replied.

"Zim the overly conceited bastard, how do I know he hasn't brainwashed you into thinking that! And if he didn't- that's treason Razzle, which is betrayal." Tallest Red said.

As soon as Red said that, I burst into sobs, and cut the transmission. I turned on my disguise and went up stairs. I put a special collar on Dib, no leash needed. The collar would zap Dib if he tried to run away or reveal that I'm Irken. I sat on the couch, Dib next to me, when Professor Membrane walked in.

"Dib," Professor Membrane said, "what has made little Razzy to cry?" I had told Dib a certain lie to tell, and if he didn't the collar would zap him.

"Her… uh FRIENDS who are no older than her don't approve of her boyfriend, the green kid, Zim." Dib replied cautiously.

"Razzy," Professor Membrane said as he lifted my head so we were eye to eye, "it doesn't matter what your friends think, if you love Zim, and want him to be your boyfriend, let him. Listen to your heart and be yourself, you'll be fine. Also, study REAL SCIENCE!" I giggled as he said 'REAL SCIENCE'. Professor Membrane then left to his lab, and I chained Dib back up to his wall. I walked off, to talk with a friend of mine, that Red and Purple didn't know I had. I slipped a peace sign necklace out of my SPAK, but then changed my mind as a yellow tractor beam beamed me up into the massive, my disguise turning off.

**Chapter 16; Razz's First COMPLETE Betrayal:**

I was standing in a circular room, with Irken males surrounding me, sitting in little chairs. The Tallests walked up to a microphone, "Mighty Irken Males today is the day Razz chooses her mate. So, be prepared, if she denies you, she can and WILL slap YOU! If she chooses you, she will give you the marriage kiss. So, we will let her starting… now!" Tallest Red said. I looked out amongst the crowd… There! Zim is in the balcony right above the entrance to the food court… weird. I ran top the stairs, and straight up to the balcony. Right next to Zim was Skoodge, who had a HUGE crush on me. I had to get past him to Zim. SLAP! He fell to the ground, "What the hell…" Skoodge muttered. I ran up to Zim and kissed him- on the lips! Zim and I blushed. We were married, we were mates. I saw the Tallests look at me, and red said one word into the microphone, "Betrayal."

**Chapter 17; Razz's Second Betrayal:**

I slipped my Purple Peace sign necklace- made with a GOLD chain- out of my SPAK. I then went to my communicator; to call a friend I call LN. I turned on a special shade on my machine- so LN can only see my eyes and peace sign necklace, as always.

"Hello, Lard Nar." I said to the Resisty's leader, I was in fact, his Co-leader.

"Hello Razzle," Lard Nar replied, not knowing that, in fact, he was speaking to the Tallest's sister, "For your next assignment," he stated, for I let him give me assignments, "I want you to capture the Tallest's little sister Razz."

"Impossible." I stated back to him.

"Why?" he replied, glaring deep into my forehead. I was his best officer, if I couldn't do it, no one can.

"Be-because," I said, choking on a sob as I turned off the shade, "I- I'm their sister Razz." I then cut the transmission

"Razzle, Razzle, Razzle," I heard a voice behind me say, _Zim! _I thought, "Won't the Tallests just _**LOVE **_to hear of your second betrayal." The last thing I heard before I fainted was Zim's cute little cackle.

**Author's Note: That's all I got for now, I'm still working on ****Part VII****. Hope you all like this story. Please, leave some feed back in a review so me and Tigercat51 aren't the majority of reviewers! Thanx for reading! ~aNoNyMuS**


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